paige never really meant for it to happen like this, but then again, nothing about her life had ever really followed the kind of logical, linear plan people liked to draw up when they were young and convinced the world could be organized neatly into lists and bullet points, because paige’s entire existence was a bit of a contradiction, a chaos disguised under that easy grin and that casual, careless kind of confidence that made people think she never had to try, like everything just fell into place for her, but if you looked closely, if you watched the way her shoulders would tense before games or the way she would bite down on her lip when she thought no one was paying attention, you’d see that she was always working, always holding something, always carrying more than she admitted, and maybe that’s why when azzi came to uconn, it felt so inevitable that they’d fall into each other, because azzi wasn’t just talented or pretty or sharp-witted in that way that made you laugh before you realized she was actually right, she was steady, she was grounding, she was a mirror and a storm all at once, and paige, for all her stubbornness, couldn’t resist orbiting her.

it started simple, just time together that turned into more time, late night study sessions that turned into movie nights, movie nights that turned into paige sprawling across azzi’s lap, her hair brushing against azzi’s thighs as if she belonged there, and azzi not moving her, not saying a word, just letting it happen with that quiet little smile that paige pretended not to notice but absolutely did, and then one night, after some stupid drinking game that neither of them were taking seriously, after laughing too hard at something that wasn’t even funny, after their friends had stumbled home or passed out in someone else’s room, it was just them, sitting on the couch, too close, eyes lingering too long, and paige kissed her like it was the most natural thing in the world.

they said it didn’t mean anything. they said they were just messing around. they said they didn’t want to deal with the complications of being teammates in an actual relationship, because god, that would be a mess, but somehow deciding to be casual wasn’t a mess? the logic was thin, laughable even, but neither of them cared because it gave them the excuse to keep kissing, keep touching, keep crossing lines they had already blurred into oblivion.

and that was how they ended up like this: a situationship without definition, two best friends who slept in the same bed almost every night, who cooked for each other, who said “i love you”, but who would laugh if anyone suggested they were together, because technically, they weren’t.

technically.

the night was one of those long ones that stretched endlessly. paige’s living room was dim, shadows stretched across the floor, the glow of her phone screen abandoned on the couch, because she was too busy with the way azzi’s lips tasted against hers, the way their mouths moved together with an easy hunger that wasn’t frantic but wasn’t exactly tame either.

thirty minutes of making out had left their lips swollen and their breathing uneven, and when azzi finally pulled back, paige groaned softly in protest, flopping against the couch like a child denied candy. “what’re you doing?” paige asked, her voice rougher than she meant it to be, watching azzi stand and stretch.

“getting water.” azzi replied, casual as ever, like she hadn’t just been kissing paige like she’d been waiting all week for it. paige sat up, her blonde hair falling into her face as she tracked azzi’s movements. when azzi walked behind the couch, paige threw her head back dramatically, grinning up at her. “gimme one last kiss, pretty.”

azzi laughed, shaking her head, but she leaned down anyway, pressing a quick peck to paige’s lips. paige frowned instantly, unsatisfied. “damn, that’s all i’m getting? kinda crazy if you ask me.”

“paige,” azzi said, rolling her eyes fondly, “we just finished making out for like half an hour. you’ll be fine.” paige tilted her head, smirking with that shameless honesty that always got under azzi’s skin. “alright, but you know i can’t get enough of you. i could do this forever.”

and azzi, despite herself, softened, her voice gentle when she replied, “i know, baby. i’ll be back, just give me a second. i need to get something to drink real quick.” paige sighed theatrically, collapsing back against the couch like she was dying. “i’ll be waiting.”

she lasted ten seconds. then she got up, padded across the floor, and caught azzi by the waist, pressing her head against her shoulder.

“jesus christ, paige!” azzi yelped, nearly spilling the glass of water she had just filled. “you scared the shit outta me.”

paige laughed into her skin, unbothered. “sorry, i just missed you.”

“bro. you’re so unserious.” azzi muttered, shaking her head but already fighting a smile.

paige hummed against her, lips brushing azzi’s neck. “mmm, keep talking, baby.”

“you’re stupid. ” azzi laughed, turning around to face her.

“and yet, you still love me.” paige teased before kissing her, deeper this time, her tongue sliding against azzi’s with an urgency that made azzi forget she was supposed to be annoyed. she lifted her easily onto the counter, her hands sliding high on azzi’s thighs, pressing, rubbing slow circles while their mouths stayed locked, heat simmering low between them. azzi tugged her closer, her fingers curling into paige’s shirt like she was trying to hold onto something more than just the moment. the kitchen air was thick, quiet except for the soft sound of their mouths and the low hums slipping between them, and paige thought, not for the first time, that she could live in this exact feeling forever.

paige had always been reckless with her affection, the kind of person who gave it away freely without ever worrying about whether she’d run out, like love was something she could print out in endless copies, and with azzi it was worse, or maybe better, because she couldn’t seem to help herself, couldn’t stop reaching, touching, kissing, like every second without contact was a waste, and that’s why she had her pressed onto the counter now, her palms spread high on azzi’s thighs as if she was anchoring them both to the moment, rubbing slow circles that started out lazy but grew firmer, more insistent, the warmth of her hands bleeding into azzi’s skin until she shivered against her.

the kiss had gone from sweet to greedy in the span of a breath. paige leaning forward like she could never get close enough, her lips moving against azzi’s with a need that burned with both hunger and devotion, a wanting that demanded more with every touch, and azzi met her right there, fingers tangling into blonde hair and tugging her closer, her nails grazing lightly paige’s scalp until it drew a sound out of her throat that was half groan, half laugh.

“you’re insane.” azzi whispered against her mouth, though her tone was soft, fond, like she was secretly charmed by it.

“mhmm, yeah,” paige murmured back, lips brushing against azzi’s as she spoke, “but i’m your kind of insane, right?” azzi didn’t answer with words, just pulled her closer, kissing her harder, her tongue sliding into paige’s mouth with a sudden insistence that flipped the power between them for a second, paige letting out a startled moan that azzi swallowed greedily.

the countertop was cool beneath azzi’s thighs, a sharp contrast to the heat blooming everywhere else, her body arching forward instinctively as paige’s hands slid further up, pushing her shorts higher, fingertips grazing dangerously close to where azzi wanted her most, and the teasing was enough to make her breath catch in her throat. paige broke the kiss for just a moment, resting her forehead against azzi’s, her breath ragged, eyes bright in the low light. “fuck, you taste so good.” she whispered, and it wasn’t meant to be poetic or anything, but it came out with the kind of honesty that made azzi’s chest tighten anyway.

“dude.” azzi whispered, though her smile betrayed her, her voice shaky as paige’s thumbs pressed into the soft skin of her inner thighs.

“yeah. whatever.” paige shot back, grinning before kissing her again, slower this time, drawing it out like she had all the time in the world.

so the kiss deepened again, lips parting and teeth grazing until both of them were dizzy, and paige let her hands wander further, sliding up and pressing against the waistband of azzi’s shorts, testing, waiting for any sign to pull back, but azzi shifted forward instead, pressing herself against paige’s palms with an impatience that made her laugh softly into the kiss.

“needy as hell.” paige teased, voice breathless, her grin against azzi’s lips enough to make her want to roll her eyes, except paige chose that exact moment to squeeze gently, her touch deliberate, and the sound that slipped out of azzi’s throat was enough to make paige’s smile falter into something darker.

“shut up.” azzi muttered, breath catching as paige’s fingers toyed at the hem of her shorts, slipping just underneath, warm against bare skin.

“don’t tell me to shut up,” paige said softly, her lips dragging across azzi’s jawline, kissing down toward her neck. “you love when i talk.”

and it was true. annoyingly true. because azzi’s head tilted back almost unconsciously as paige’s mouth found that spot just beneath her ear. the soft suck of lips there sending sparks down her spine, her hands clutching at paige’s shoulders like she could hold herself together that way.

“you’re–” azzi started, but her words broke into a shaky breath as paige bit down gently, her tongue soothing over the spot immediately after.

“mhmm.” paige whispered against her skin, her hands still working higher, her thumbs brushing just where azzi wanted them most but refusing to give in fully.

“so mean.” azzi managed, though her voice was trembling, breaking in a way that betrayed the composure she was trying to hold.

“sure i am.” paige replied smoothly, her words muffled into azzi’s neck before she kissed her again, slow and wet, the tension was unbearable, deliciously unbearable, and paige seemed content to stretch it out, her hands tracing lazy paths along azzi’s thighs, pressing firmly but not giving in, her mouth moving from her neck to her collarbone, sucking softly just enough to make azzi’s breath stutter.

“you’re torturing me.” azzi whispered, her voice sharp with impatience even as her body betrayed her, arching into paige’s touch, begging without words. paige laughed low in her throat, pulling back just far enough to meet her eyes, her grin wicked and fond all at once. “oh i know, baby. i like it when you’re desperate for me.”

“you’re such an asshole.” azzi shot back, though her lips parted with a soft gasp as paige finally slid her fingers more firmly against her, the pressure making her moan before she could stop it.

“whatever you say, beautiful.” paige said with a smirk, and then she kissed her again, swallowing every sound azzi made, every shaky breath, like she couldn’t get enough, like she needed to prove she was the only one who got to see her like this.

paige loved control, but not in the traditional way that people usually imagined when they thought about dominance, because hers wasn’t cold or calculated, it was playful, selfish even, a kind of greedy need to be the one who had azzi unraveling under her hands, to be the one who got to hear those little noises slip from her throat, to be the one who could make her lose her composure, and right now, with azzi perched on the counter, her shorts pushed halfway up, thighs parted under paige’s insistent grip, paige felt that familiar rush of satisfaction coil through her chest. the kiss was sloppy now, all tongue and breath and teeth, the kind of kiss that wasn’t particularly about technique but about hunger, about trying to swallow the other whole, and azzi was meeting her there, tugging at paige’s hair, pulling her closer like she couldn’t get enough either, the sound of their mouths filling the quiet kitchen in a way that felt both obscene and perfect.

paige’s hands slid further, finally slipping under the thin fabric of azzi’s shorts, fingers pressing against her through the damp heat of her underwear, and the way azzi gasped into her mouth made paige groan low in her throat, her hips pressing forward unconsciously as if she couldn’t stop herself from chasing that sound again.

“fuck, you’re already so wet for me baby” paige murmured against her lips, her tone more wonder than mockery, though the grin tugging at her mouth betrayed the smugness beneath it.

“shut up, paige.” azzi whispered, her cheeks flushing even as her hips rolled forward into paige’s palm, her hands clutching desperately at her shoulders like she couldn’t find enough to hold onto.

“nah.” paige whispered back, kissing her again, her fingers sliding under the edge of her underwear now, slipping against slick heat that made both of them moan, azzi’s thighs tightening instinctively around paige’s waist. the rhythm was slow at first, paige dragging her fingers lazily through the mess she found there, teasing more than giving, and azzi’s head fell back against the cabinet, her lips parting as she let out a shaky exhale, the sound sending a thrill down paige’s spine.

“paige…” azzi breathed, and there was something in the way she said her name that was half plea, half warning, like she couldn’t decide whether to beg or scold her, and that alone nearly undid paige.

“wassup?” paige replied, her voice sweet and infuriatingly calm as her fingers traced circles around where azzi needed her most, never quite giving in.

“don’t. don’t tease. please.” azzi managed, her hips jerking forward helplessly.

“mm, but you’re so pretty when i do that.” paige said, her grin widening as she finally pressed two fingers inside, slow, deliberate, savoring the way azzi’s whole body tensed around her, the sharp gasp that broke into a moan spilling out before azzi could swallow it down. paige kissed her again, her tongue sliding against azzi’s as her fingers set a steady rhythm, pumping in and out with an ease born of knowing exactly how to touch her, exactly how to unravel her, and azzi clung to her desperately, nails digging into her shoulders, her breath coming quicker with every thrust. the pace picked up, paige curling her fingers just right, her thumb pressing against azzi’s clit with firm, slow circles that made her cry out, the sound muffled into paige’s mouth but still loud enough to make her pulse race with satisfaction.

“that’s it, baby,” paige murmured against her lips, her voice low, coaxing. “let me hear you.”

azzi tried to roll her eyes, tried to keep her composure, but it was slipping fast, every thrust pulling her further from control, every touch sparking fire low in her belly until she was trembling against paige, her thighs tightening helplessly.

“fuck–you’re–” azzi stammered, her words breaking into a whimper as paige’s pace quickened, her fingers moving faster now, her thumb relentless, the combination enough to have azzi arching forward, her forehead pressing against paige’s shoulder as her breath came out in ragged gasps.

“tell me pretty,” paige whispered, her voice sharp with want. “tell me who’s making you feel this good.”

“you–” azzi gasped, her nails digging into paige’s back. “fuck. you are.”

“that’s right,” paige said with a grin, kissing her temple before nipping at her jaw, her fingers driving deeper, faster, curling until she felt azzi clench around her with a sharp cry. “only me, baby.”

“only you.” azzi choked out, her voice breaking as her whole body tensed, the heat building unbearably until it snapped, her release hitting her hard and sudden, ripping a moan from her lips that paige swallowed eagerly, kissing her through it as her fingers worked her steadily, drawing it out until azzi was trembling, whimpering against her shoulder.

paige finally slowed, easing her fingers out, her lips pressing soft, soothing kisses along azzi’s jaw, her neck, her cheek, as if to balance the intensity with tenderness. “you’re so fucking perfect.” she whispered, her voice low now, reverent.

azzi let out a shaky laugh, still catching her breath. “i love you, p.”

“i love you too, princess.” paige said easily, her grin lazy but her eyes soft, and though the words should’ve been terrifying, they both knew it wasn’t the first time they’d said them, and it definitely wouldn’t be the last.

azzi kissed her then, fingers brushing paige’s cheek, grounding her, and in that quiet moment, with the taste of each other still on their tongues and the air thick with heat, they didn’t feel like just friends. they felt like something more, something neither of them wanted to name but both of them already knew.

it’s late enough that the hallway outside is quiet, most of the dorm lights already dark, and the air in azzi’s room still clings to her, that faint sweetness of cocoa butter and the trace of vanilla that never really fades, the smell paige has come to know better than her own. they’re lying there the way they always do after practice, stretched out sideways on the bed that’s too small for two but somehow always fits them, and azzi’s head is tucked right under paige’s chin, her arm heavy across paige’s stomach, her leg hooked lazily over her hip like it belongs there. paige has one hand resting against the curve of azzi’s back, thumb brushing slow over the fabric of her shirt, an easy touch she doesn’t even think about anymore. azzi hums every so often, not words, just a low sound in her throat that tells paige she’s comfortable, maybe not even fully awake, and paige feels her chest swell at the idea that she gets to be the one azzi melts against like this, the one she chooses to lay down with when the day finally runs out.

some show runs quietly on the tv, subtitles drifting along the bottom, nothing either of them is paying attention to. the light flickers across the walls, across azzi’s face when she tilts slightly, and paige catches herself staring. it’s not intentional at first, just the angle of her jaw, the way her lashes rest against her cheeks, the shine of lip balm catching in the lamplight, but soon she’s fully gone, her eyes locked on azzi like she might miss something if she looks away even for a second. she tells herself to stop, that staring this long will make it obvious, but she can’t, because azzi is right there, warm and soft in her arms, and paige feels like if she doesn’t memorize her in this exact moment she’ll regret it.

azzi doesn’t move, doesn’t even open her eyes, but there’s the faintest curl of a smile at the corner of her mouth, and paige knows she’s caught.

“you really think i don’t notice when you do that?” azzi’s voice comes out low, teasing, almost like she’s talking in her sleep.

paige shifts slightly under her, caught between embarrassment and amusement, her hand stilling against azzi’s back. “do what?”

“look at me like you’re trying to figure out how many freckles i have,” azzi murmurs, finally opening her eyes, and they’re glassy from being half asleep but sharp enough to pin paige where she is.

paige huffs out a laugh, but she doesn’t deny it. “you make it hard not to, y’know.”

that gets azzi to lift her head just enough to see her better, their faces close now, noses only inches apart. she props her chin on paige’s chest, studying her with that quiet intensity that always makes paige feel both exposed and wanted, like azzi can read every thought she’s tried to bury.

“you’re annoying,” azzi says finally, though her mouth is twitching like she’s fighting a smile.

“yeah, maybe a little,” paige answers, her voice softer now, her hand finding the back of azzi’s neck, brushing over the small curls of hair there.

they don’t move right away. it’s just the two of them staring, faces so close that paige can feel the warmth of azzi’s breath against her cheek, close enough that she doesn’t even need to blink because she’s caught there, locked in the dark shine of azzi’s eyes. the room around them has gone still but none of it matters, because paige’s whole world has narrowed to the weight of azzi stretched against her chest, the rise and fall of her breathing syncing with her own. when azzi leans in it doesn’t feel like something she thought about. there’s nothing rehearsed about it. no hesitation either. like her body decided before her mind could catch up. it just feels like the most natural shift in the world, like gravity pulling her forward, and when her lips finally press softly against paige’s, there’s no sharpness to it, just an inevitability that makes paige’s whole body go soft and tense at the same time.

the kiss is slow, unhurried. azzi tastes like the faint sweetness of her lip balm, and it makes paige’s chest ache in a way she doesn’t have words for. paige tilts her head to deepen it just enough, careful but greedy, and her fingers tighten against azzi’s back like she’s afraid she might slip away. azzi makes a small sound against her mouth and it lands heavy in paige’s stomach, spreading heat everywhere at once. they stay like that, mouths brushing, parting, pulling back just enough to breathe, only to find each other again, brushing lips over lips until it feels like they’ve been kissing forever. azzi’s fingers curl into the fabric of paige’s shirt, grounding herself, while paige runs her thumb in small circles at the base of her spine, needing to keep her close, needing to touch in as many ways as she can.

when azzi finally pulls back an inch, paige almost chases her without thinking. azzi’s lips are a little swollen, her cheeks flushed, and she’s looking at paige like she just discovered something she’ll never let go of. their foreheads falling together, lips still so close that paige feels every word when azzi whispers, “hi.” paige can’t help the laugh that slips out, her chest tightening as she pulls azzi even closer. “hi.” she answers back, voice low and soft, like it belongs only to her.

azzi looks at her, lips parted like she’s holding back another kiss, or maybe a hundred of them. and paige, with her hand still at her back and her forehead pressed to hers, thinks she wouldn’t mind if this moment stretched forever.

“you always hold me like you don’t wanna let go.” azzi whispers, her voice so soft it might not carry beyond the inch between them, but paige hears every word and a smile comes without thinking, not the cocky grin she usually gives in practice, not the smirk she tosses around at parties, but something heavier, something that feels like it comes from her chest instead of her mouth. “maybe i don’t.” she murmurs, her voice quiet but certain.

azzi exhales and settles back down against her, tucking her face into the space between paige’s neck and shoulder, her arm tightening across her waist. and paige just holds her, fingers tracing lazy lines again, her lips pressing a small kiss to azzi’s hair, and the quiet fills in all the spaces words can’t.

azzi doesn’t fall asleep. not really. even though paige can feel the weight of her settling deeper against her chest, her breathing slowing into something that almost passes for sleep. but every so often azzi shifts, the drag of her thigh moving against paige’s hip, the brush of her breath against her collarbone, and paige knows she’s awake.

she doesn’t say anything about it. she just keeps holding her, her fingers skimming along azzi’s spine, and the longer she does, the more she feels azzi’s body reacting, subtle at first, the faint hitch of breath, the way her hand flexes against paige’s stomach. paige smiles to herself, her eyes half closed, her chin resting against the top of azzi’s head. “bro, you’re restless.” she murmurs, not accusing, more like she’s just stating what’s already obvious between them.

“maybe it’s your fault.” azzi says quietly, her voice muffled by the fabric of paige’s shirt, but there’s a spark in it, teasing, pulling. paige tilts her head, pressing her lips to the shell of azzi’s ear, letting her words fall warm there. “yeah? how’s it my fault?”

azzi shifts again, lifting her face just enough so she can look at her, her mouth inches away, her eyes dark even in the soft lamplight. “you’re too much.” she says simply, and then she kisses her, hard enough this time that paige can feel her own pulse jump in her throat.

the kiss stretches, deepens, azzi climbing further on top of her until she’s straddling her waist, her hands braced against paige’s shoulders. paige groans softly into her mouth, her fingers slipping under the hem of azzi’s shirt, finding the warm skin of her back, and the sound that escapes azzi when she feels her touch there is enough to make paige’s grip tighten.

“fuck.” paige breathes against her lips, and azzi only smiles, tilting her hips just slightly, enough to make paige’s breath catch again.

“what?” azzi teases, her voice softer now, but her body pressing down with intent.

“you’re–” paige cuts herself off with another kiss, her hands sliding higher up azzi’s back, fingertips grazing the band of her sports bra. “–you’re driving me crazy.”

azzi laughs. but she doesn’t stop. doesn’t ease up. she leans down, her lips brushing paige’s jaw, her neck, and paige’s eyes flutter closed at the warmth of it, her hand slipping around to grip azzi’s waist, dragging her even closer.

“say please.” azzi whispers suddenly, the words so unexpected that paige’s eyes snap open, meeting hers again.

paige stares at her, caught off guard, then smirks, shaking her head. “you’re crazy.” she says, her voice low, almost a growl, and then she flips them, rolling so azzi is pinned beneath her now, their bodies flush together. azzi gasps, her hands flying to paige’s shoulders, nails digging in just slightly. “not fair.” she says, but the smile tugging at her lips betrays her, her chest rising fast against paige’s.

“life’s not fair.” paige murmurs, pressing her mouth to hers again, slower this time, deeper, letting the kiss build until azzi’s hips are shifting under her, uneasy and needy.

paige pulls back just barely, her lips brushing over azzi’s jaw, her breath hot against her skin. “you wanna keep teasing me, huh?”

azzi exhales shakily, her hands sliding down to grip paige’s sides. “maybe.” she says, though her voice cracks just enough to give her away.

“yeah?” paige says again, her hand trailing down azzi’s stomach, stopping right at the waistband of her shorts. “or maybe you just want me to touch you.”

azzi swallows hard, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment, her back arching just slightly off the bed. “paige…”

“tell me, baby.” paige whispers, her lips brushing azzi’s neck now, her hand pressing just a little firmer at her hip.

“i want you.” azzi admits finally, her voice breaking in the quiet room, and the sound of it makes paige’s whole body heat, makes her fingers slip beneath the fabric of her shorts without another thought. azzi gasps when paige’s hand meets skin, her eyes flying open again, and paige kisses her through it, swallowing every sound, every word, until all that’s left is the perfect rhythm of their bodies pressed close, the room filled with the sound of their breathing, the quiet thrum of something neither of them wants to stop.

paige’s hand is already warm against azzi’s stomach, the heel of her palm pressing just above the waistband of her shorts, her fingers teasing lower but not giving in yet, and it makes azzi whimper, a sound she clearly doesn’t mean to let out, her head tipping back against the pillow. paige smirks against her neck, biting gently at the skin there before pulling back just enough to see her face, the way her lips part, the way her eyes are fluttering half shut like she’s already halfway gone.

“you sound so pretty, baby.” paige says softly, her thumb tracing the line of azzi’s hipbone. “you know that?”

azzi shifts under her, her nails digging a little harder into paige’s shoulders. “stop talking and–”

“and what?” paige interrupts, leaning down to kiss her again, her hand pressing a little firmer against her waist but still not sliding down. “you’re the one who wanted this. use your words.”

“god, you’re insufferable.” azzi breathes, but she’s smiling, her chest heaving, her hips lifting just slightly against paige’s hand like her body’s betraying her.

“uh huh.” paige dips her head lower, kissing along azzi’s jaw, her collarbone, down the line of her chest, her other hand bracing on the mattress so she can trail her mouth across her skin, unhurried. “tell me you want me, beautiful.”

“i already did.”

“say it again for me.” paige murmurs, her lips brushing over the edge of azzi’s shirt as her hand finally slips beneath the waistband of her shorts, fingers skating low enough to make azzi choke on her next breath.

“i want you so bad, baby.” azzi gasps, her back arching, and paige grins against her skin like it’s the only answer she needed. she drags her hand lower, fingers sliding over the thin fabric of azzi’s panties, already damp, and she lets out a low groan of her own. “fuck, azzi,” she whispers, her mouth hovering just above azzi’s stomach now, kissing the soft skin there, her tongue dipping briefly against the tiny bar of the belly button piercing she’s always loved. “you’re soaked for me already.”

azzi laughs breathlessly, trying to hide the sound of her moan in it, but it breaks anyway, spilling into the quiet room. “shut up.”

“make me.” paige presses her fingers harder against her through the fabric, slow circles that make azzi’s hips jerk up, and she tilts her head to look at her, hair falling into her face, her eyes dark. “mm you can’t, can you?”

azzi groans, tossing her head back, one hand flying up to grip the pillow above her head. “fuck, paige, stop being such an ass and–”

paige cuts her off by sliding her fingers beneath the fabric finally, skin against skin, and the gasp that rips out of azzi’s throat is sharp enough to make paige’s whole body ache.

“better?” paige teases, her voice hushed but rough now, her fingers sliding slow and deliberate through the slick heat of her.

“fuck you.” azzi says, but her hips are moving with her touch, chasing it, desperate, and paige laughs low, kissing her stomach again before sliding lower, pulling her shorts down inch by inch until they’re bunched around her thighs. she doesn’t rush. she kisses the inside of azzi’s knee, then the soft skin higher, the muscle of her thigh, each kiss slower, deeper, until azzi’s hips are lifting off the mattress again, her breath coming in short, uneven pulls.

“please.” azzi finally whispers, her voice raw, her hand reaching down to grab at paige’s hair, tugging her closer. paige grins, letting herself be pulled, settling between her thighs, her mouth hovering just above where azzi needs her most. “i like it when you beg.”

and then she gives in, her tongue dragging slow and steady, savoring the taste of her, the way azzi’s entire body jolts, the way her thighs tighten around paige’s shoulders. she moans into her, the sound vibrating against her, and azzi cries out, her hands tightening in her hair, pulling her closer, closer. paige doesn’t let up. she moves with precision, with patience, building the rhythm, edging her without mercy. every time azzi’s hips buck, every time she gets close enough that her breath breaks into something wild and desperate, paige slows, pulling back just enough to make her whine.

“paige–” azzi’s voice is cracking now, her chest rising fast, sweat beading at her temple. “please, don’t stop, i can’t–”

“shh,” paige whispers against her, her lips brushing over her, her fingers sliding in now, slow enough that azzi gasps, her whole body arching off the mattress. paige curls them just right, knuckles brushing, and her other hand comes up to hold her hip down, forcing her to take it. “you can take it, baby. i know you can.”

azzi’s whole body arches, her heels digging into the mattress, her hands clutching at paige like she’s the only thing keeping her tethered. “fuck, p–” .

“look at you,” paige says softly, her eyes fixed on her face, the way her mouth falls open, the sweat shining on her collarbone. “you’re so fucking gorgeous like this.”

she starts to move her hand, slow thrusts that hit deep, curling every time to drag against that spot that makes azzi cry out. her thumb finds her clit, rubbing small, tight circles, and azzi’s back arches again, her head falling back into the pillow, hair sticking to her damp skin.

“paige–oh my god–”

“that’s it,” paige coaxes, her voice low, steady, like she’s guiding her through it. “let me hear you. don’t hold it back.”

azzi doesn’t. she can’t. the room fills with the sound of her moans, sharp and desperate, the wet slide of paige’s fingers inside her, the creak of the bed under them. every time azzi tries to lift her hips, paige presses her down harder, keeping her right where she wants her.

“you feel so good,” paige whispers, leaning down to kiss her again, swallowing the next moan as her tongue slides against hers. “so fucking good around my fingers, baby.”

azzi’s whole body is trembling now, her thighs quivering, her stomach clenching under paige’s hand. she grabs at paige’s wrist, not to stop her, but like she needs something to hold onto, like she’ll fly apart without it.

“please,” she gasps, her voice raw. “please don’t stop.”

“come for me, mama.” paige says, her voice rough, muffled, relentless. and azzi does, with a sound that tears out of her throat, her body shaking, her hips stuttering against paige’s mouth as she unravels, everything pulling tight and then breaking all at once. paige doesn’t stop right away. she keeps moving, drawing it out, licking into her mouth as azzi moans against her lips, overstimulated and wrecked. finally, when azzi’s pushing weakly at her shoulder, whining, paige finally slows, pressing soft kisses against the inside of her thigh, then her stomach again, working her way back up her body until she’s hovering over her, her lips brushing azzi’s jaw, her cheek. azzi’s chest is still heaving, her skin flushed, her eyes glassy as she stares up at her, and paige can’t help but smile, her thumb brushing her swollen bottom lip.

“you are unreal.” azzi whispers, her voice hoarse, still shaky.

paige laughs softly, pressing a kiss to her mouth, tender now, nothing like the frenzy from before. “so are you.”

azzi exhales, curling into her, pulling her close like she’s the only thing she wants to hold onto, and paige lets herself be wrapped up, tucking her face into the crook of her neck, her hand still smoothing lazy circles over her stomach. the room is quiet again, but it’s a different kind of quiet now, the kind that makes everything feel right. they lie there for a while like that, their breathing evening out, azzi shifts so she’s half draped over paige, her head on her chest, her hand tucked against her stomach, and paige feels her heartbeat slow in tandem with hers, the kind of synchronicity that should scare her but instead feels grounding.

“you ever think about how ridiculous this is?” azzi asks suddenly, her voice low, almost thoughtful.

“what, us?” paige teases, but there’s a catch in her tone, like she’s scared of the answer.

“yeah,” azzi says simply, her thumb brushing over the small scar on paige’s hip she always plays with when they’re tangled up like this. “teammates, best friends, whatever the fuck. this is. it’s like…the dumbest idea ever. and yet…” she trails off, kissing paige’s collarbone softly, “…i wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

paige swallows hard, her chest tightening, and she almost blurts it–the thing that’s been sitting heavy on her tongue for months, maybe years–but instead she just kisses the top of azzi’s head, her lips lingering there longer than necessary. “yeah,” she whispers. “me too.”

the silence that follows isn’t awkward. it’s heavy but warm, thick with everything unspoken. then azzi shifts again, propping herself up on one elbow, and paige immediately knows that look in her eye, the one that’s playful and dangerous at once, the one that always means trouble.

“what.” paige warns, but her voice is already breaking into a smile.

“i’m not done yet.” azzi says, grinning, and before paige can even respond, she leans down and presses an open-mouthed kiss to her stomach, just above the waistband of her shorts, her teeth grazing lightly.

paige jolts, grabbing at the sheets, her whole body sparking back to life. “oh my god–”

“round two?” azzi asks, her voice muffled against her skin, but the smirk is obvious. paige groans, already tugging her back up for a kiss, desperate and messy. “fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” she whispers again, but she’s smiling when she says it, because she knows she’d let azzi do it a thousand times over.

the thing about parties at uconn was that they were all the same and somehow always different, the same overcrowded living rooms stuffed with sweaty bodies and music too loud for anyone to actually talk, the same sticky floors and cheap beer and too sweet juice in questionable plastic coolers, but each one carried its own little disaster waiting to happen, and tonight’s disaster was already unfolding in slow motion, paige watching it from across the room with a smile that was more teeth than joy.

it had started fine, better than fine, really, because they’d come together, azzi looking unfairly good in the kind of fitted jeans that made paige openly stare when she walked into the room, and paige hadn’t even bothered to hide it, whistling low enough to make azzi roll her eyes and mutter something about how she should behave for once, but her lips had betrayed her with the twitch of a smile, and that was enough to keep paige grinning the whole drive over. and maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was the mood, but for the first hour or so, everything was easy–azzi tucked against the wall with a red cup in hand, paige drifting around the room but always orbiting back to her, stealing little touches that looked casual to anyone else but carried a heat both of them felt, paige’s fingers brushing azzi’s waist as she passed, azzi’s hand tugging paige down by the collar when she leaned too close not to kiss her.

but then someone else came into the picture–some guy paige didn’t even know, some tall, broad-shouldered asshole who clearly thought he was charming–and suddenly paige’s night tilted.

he was standing too close to azzi, leaning in to talk, his hand brushing her arm in a way that made paige’s stomach knot. and azzi wasn’t flirting, not really, she was just being polite, laughing at something he said, but the sound of her laugh aimed at someone else, at him, felt like a betrayal even though paige knew logically it wasn’t.

she drained her cup too fast, the burn in her throat sharp, and set it down harder than she meant to, her eyes locked on them like she could burn a hole through his head if she stared long enough.

“damn paige, relax.” aubrey muttered, passing her with a laugh, but paige ignored it, already making her way across the room with the kind of determined, careless swagger that came out stronger when she was drinking.

“hey, pretty.” paige drawled as she slid in beside azzi, her arm looping around her shoulders like it belonged there. (because it did. in her mind. even if no one else knew it. except that they actually did).

azzi’s eyes flicked to her, something unreadable flashing there before she smoothed it away. “paige.” her tone was neutral, but her body leaned into her automatically, betraying her.

“who’s this?” paige asked, her smile sharp as she glanced at the guy.

he opened his mouth, but paige didn’t really care, didn’t wait for him to answer before continuing, “cool, awesome, doesn’t matter. az, you wanna dance?”

azzi’s brow furrowed. “you don’t dance.”

“i dance when it’s you.” paige shot back easily, tugging her cup from her hand before she could argue, setting it down on the table beside them. the guy looked like he wanted to say something, but azzi just gave him a polite smile before letting paige pull her toward the crowd of bodies moving to the music.

once they were in the middle of it, paige’s hands slid to azzi’s hips without hesitation, pulling her back against her. “you looked like you were having fun.” paige said into her ear, her voice low, teasing.

“he was just talking” azzi replied, her tone calm, body still swaying against paige’s like she couldn’t help it.

“hmmm, didn’t like the way he was looking at you.” paige admitted, her grip tightening just slightly.

“you’re drunk.” azzi said, though her own voice cracked a little at the end, giving her away.

“yeah, and?” paige grinned against her neck, her lips brushing there in a way that made azzi shiver despite herself. “doesn’t mean i’m wrong.”

azzi turned her head, catching paige’s eyes over her shoulder, their faces so close it made the rest of the room blur. “we’re not–” she started, but her words faltered.

“not what?” paige pressed, her grin slipping into something softer, something more dangerous.

“we’re not together.” azzi said finally, though it came out like a question, like she didn’t believe it herself. paige’s hands slid higher on her waist, pulling her flush against her. “could’ve fooled me.” she murmured, kissing the corner of her jaw, not caring who saw, not caring that the whole room could burn down around them as long as azzi stayed right here. and the truth was, azzi didn’t push her away. she never did.

the rest of the party blurred in the way nights like that always did, too loud music and people pushing past them, paige’s arm still around azzi, and azzi not pulling away even though she should have, even though her chest was tight with something she didn’t want to name.

paige was already very affectionate when she was sober, but drunk, she was even worse– hands everywhere, mouth everywhere, laughing too loud, saying things that were too honest to be passed off as jokes. she kissed azzi’s cheek, her jaw, the shell of her ear, murmuring things that made azzi’s pulse spike, things she wanted to hear but couldn’t let herself believe. and azzi let her, because she always let her. but by the time they stumbled back to paige’s apartment, the edges of everything were frayed, the warmth of alcohol giving way to that sharp clarity that always came after, and the silence between them felt heavier than the noise of the party had.

paige kicked her shoes off, dropping onto the couch with a dramatic groan. “my feet are killing me.” she said, stretching out, her head tilted back, hair a mess around her face.

azzi lingered near the door, crossing her arms. “you were crazy tonight.”

paige cracked one eye open, smirking. “oh yeah, i know.”

“paige.” azzi’s tone was sharp, enough to make paige sit up a little straighter, though her grin didn’t fade.

“what?” she asked, like she genuinely didn’t understand.

“you can’t just–” azzi broke off, shaking her head, searching for the words. “you can’t just act like that in public. like–like we’re–”

“like we’re what?” paige pressed, her smile faltering finally, though her voice stayed light.

“like we’re together.” azzi said, the words coming out harsher than she intended, but the second they were in the air, they stuck there, heavy, impossible to pull back.

paige leaned forward, elbows on her knees, her eyes locked on azzi with a seriousness that cut through the alcohol in her system. “and what if we are?” she asked quietly.

azzi’s breath caught, her stomach flipping, but she forced herself to hold tight. “we’re not.”

“says who?” paige shot back, the edge creeping into her voice now. “you? because last i checked, we spend practically every night in the same bed, we kiss like we’re addicted, we–” she broke off, running a hand through her hair, frustrated. “what the fuck do you call that if not being together?”

“friends,” azzi said, her voice breaking slightly on the word. “i don’t know. a little more than friends. friends with benefits. that’s what we agreed on.”

“yeah, well, agreements change,” paige muttered, standing now, pacing like she couldn’t sit still. “feelings change.”

the room went quiet after that. azzi’s chest tightened, her nails digging into her arms where they were crossed. “you’re drunk,” she said finally, her voice softer now, almost pleading. “you don’t mean that.”

paige stopped pacing, turning to face her, and the look in her eyes made azzi’s throat close. “i always mean it when it’s about you, azzi.”

the silence stretched, unbearable. azzi looked away first, her jaw tight. “this is exactly why i didn’t want–” she stopped herself, biting the inside of her cheek, but paige caught it anyway.

“didn’t want what?” paige asked, stepping closer, her voice sharper now. “didn’t want me? didn’t want this?”

“didn’t want to ruin us.” azzi said finally, her voice low, cracking under the weight of it.

paige froze, her expression softening in an instant. “baby…” she started, reaching out, but azzi flinched back like the touch would undo her completely.

“you don’t get it,” azzi whispered, her eyes shining with something she refused to let fall. “if we cross that line, if we call it what it is, and it falls apart, i lose you. and i can’t–” her voice broke, and she swallowed hard, shaking her head. “i can’t lose you.”

paige’s chest ached, her own bravado slipping. “you think i’d ever let you lose me?” she asked softly, almost desperately.

“you don’t know that.” azzi said, her voice barely audible, and the truth of it hung between them, raw and heavy. for a moment, neither of them moved, the air thick with everything they weren’t saying. finally, paige let out a shaky laugh, running a hand over her face. “we’re so fucking dumb.” azzi let out a humorless laugh of her own, sinking onto the edge of the couch. “yeah.” paige sat beside her, close but not touching, the space between them louder than any fight.

after a long beat, paige leaned back, staring at the ceiling. “you know i’m never gonna stop loving you, right?” she said casually, like it was nothing, like it didn’t just split azzi’s chest open.

azzi closed her eyes, exhaling slowly. “stop saying that.”

“can’t,” paige replied, her grin returning, though it didn’t reach her eyes this time. “it’s the only thing i’m actually serious about.”

the silence after paige’s last words stretched out so long it stopped feeling like silence and started feeling like something heavier, like a third presence in the room pressing against both of them, filling up the space between their bodies where there should have been touch. azzi kept her arms crossed, staring down at the floor like if she looked at paige for even a second, everything inside her would come spilling out, and paige leaned back into the couch cushions like she was trying to disappear into them, her jaw tight, her eyes trained on the ceiling like maybe the answer was written up there. and it could’ve stayed like that–it almost did– but paige was never good at sitting in discomfort, never good at shutting up, and even worse when she cared, and god, she cared too much.

so after what felt like forever, she shifted, turning her head just enough to look at azzi. “you know i hate it when you sit all the way over there like you don’t wanna touch me,” she said softly, no teasing in her tone this time, just honesty.

azzi’s throat tightened, but she didn’t move. “i don’t know if i should.” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

paige’s chest ached at that, but she didn’t push, didn’t joke, didn’t make light of it. instead, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, her hands dangling between them. “i’m sorry,” she said, the words rough, unpolished. “for the party. for being…me. i just–i can’t stand watching somebody else look at you like that. i know i don’t get to say that, but–” she broke off, shaking her head. “fuck. i don’t know.”

azzi finally looked at her then, and the sight of paige–shoulders slumped, eyes tired, that cocky grin nowhere to be found–made her chest twist. she sighed, uncrossing her arms slowly. “you can’t just keep saying things you don’t really mean.” she whispered.

“but i do mean it,” paige said quickly, her eyes finding hers, sharp with urgency. “i always mean it, azzi..”

the room went quiet again, but softer this time, less sharp. azzi stared at her for a long beat, then shook her head faintly, a sad little smile tugging at her lips. “you drive me crazy.”

paige grinned weakly, some of her usual bravado slipping back in. “but i’m your kind of crazy though, right?” her voice gentler now, almost tentative.

and this time, azzi didn’t argue. she just let out a tired laugh, the sound breaking the tension in her chest, and without another word, she shifted closer, curling into paige’s side like it was second nature. paige let out a quiet breath of relief, her arm coming around her automatically, pulling her in tight. she pressed her lips to azzi’s hair, lingering there, and whispered, “i’m never gonna let you lose me. not in a million years.”

azzi closed her eyes, her body relaxing against her despite everything, despite the mess and the fear. “you promise?” she asked softly, almost childlike.

“i promise,” paige said without hesitation, her voice steady, certain. “cross my heart, hope to die, all that shit.”

and they stayed like that for a long time, tangled on the couch, the world outside irrelevant, the fight already fading into the background because at the end of the day, no matter how messy it got, no matter how many times they pretended it wasn’t love, this was where they always ended up–pressed into each other, unwilling to let go. eventually, paige pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, draping it over both of them. she tucked it around azzi’s shoulders, then tilted her head down to kiss her temple. “go to sleep, pretty,” she murmured. “i got you.”

and for once, azzi didn’t overthink, didn’t try to put words to something that was already too big for them. she just let herself believe it, if only for the night.

the morning crept in through the blinds in thin strips of gold, catching on the edges of the couch where they’d crashed hours earlier. paige woke up first, she always did, no matter how late they’d been up or how many drinks she’d had the night before, her body wired to catch the first sound, the first shift of light. at first, she stayed still, breathing slow, listening to the soft rhythm of azzi’s breathing against her chest. it grounded her in a way nothing else could. her hand, still resting on azzi’s back from the night before, flexed lazily, fingertips brushing over the hem of her shirt, not even thinking about it–like her body just needed the reassurance that azzi was still there.

she tilted her head slightly to look down, and the sight almost undid her. azzi’s hair was messy, falling into her face, her lips parted just a little, one arm draped across paige’s waist possessively even in unconsciousness. paige bit her lip, trying not to smile too wide, because it was ridiculous how much she loved moments like this, how much it scared her to realize there wasn’t anything casual about them at all. eventually, she shifted carefully, sliding out from under azzi with the kind of practiced ease that came from doing this a hundred times before. azzi mumbled at the loss of warmth but didn’t wake, just pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. paige stood there for a second, watching, rubbing at her face, before heading toward the kitchen.

she didn’t know why she started cooking–maybe because she couldn’t sit still, maybe because she wanted something to do with her hands, maybe because the air felt too heavy after last night. she dug around in the cabinets, pulling out eggs and bread and whatever else she could find. cooking wasn’t exactly her thing. she wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t azzi either, who somehow made every meal taste like it belonged in a restaurant. still, she liked trying, especially when it was for her. by the time the smell of scrambled eggs and toast filled the small dorm kitchen, azzi appeared. rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand, drowning in one of paige’s sweatshirts that looked two sizes too big on her. she leaned against the doorframe, eyes still half shut.

“look at you, princess, dragging yourself out of bed for me,” paige teased, flipping the eggs with exaggerated confidence. “don’t worry, no fire hazards today.”

“since when do you cook?” azzi leaned against the counter, watching her with that sleepy half smile that always made paige’s stomach flip.

paige glanced over her shoulder. “since five minutes ago.”

“brave.”

“you doubt me?” paige asked, flicking the pan like she actually knew what she was doing.

“constantly.” azzi said, moving closer, sliding her arms around paige’s waist from behind. she rested her face against her shoulder blade, humming like the smell alone was enough to keep her there.

paige smirked, but her voice came out quieter than usual. “don’t distract the chef, you might ruin your breakfast.”

“worth the risk. smells good though.” she murmured, voice muffled against her shirt.

paige leaned back into the touch instinctively, her grin softening into something quieter. “yeah? maybe i’ll keep you around so you can gas me up every time i make eggs.”

“hmmm, maybe i’ll stay around because you let me steal all your sweatshirts.” azzi countered, tugging at the hem of the one she was wearing.

paige turned her head, smirking. “you mean our sweatshirts at this point. i haven’t seen half of mine in months.”

“finders keepers.” azzi said simply, pressing a light kiss to her shoulder.

when paige finished cooking they ate at the small table, legs knocking under the surface more out of habit than intention. azzi poked at the eggs with her fork, then gave paige a look.

“they’re fine.” paige said quickly, defensive.

“i didn’t say anything.”

“you were about to.”

azzi chewed, swallowed, then shrugged. “they’re not terrible.”

“wow. nice review.”

a corner of azzi’s mouth tugged upward. “they’re good, paige. seriously.”

paige narrowed her eyes like she didn’t fully believe her but let it go, focusing on her toast. the silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable–it just was, the kind that came from knowing each other too well to need to fill it.

after breakfast, they ended up back on the couch, azzi stretched out with her head in paige’s lap, scrolling through her phone while paige absentmindedly played with her hair. the sun was higher now, the room warmer, and for a while, there was nothing but quiet, not the heavy kind from last night, but the easy kind that felt like safety.

“you always wake up before me,” azzi said suddenly.

“can’t help it,” paige said. “light’s too loud.”

azzi huffed a quiet laugh, closing her eyes. “that doesn’t even make sense.”

“doesn’t have to.” paige answered, still combing her fingers through her hair.

“you know,” azzi murmured, not looking up from her screen, “friends don’t usually make each other breakfast in the morning.”

paige arched an eyebrow, though azzi couldn’t see it. “oh yeah? what do they do, then?”

“i dunno. not this.” azzi murmured, her tone softer now, almost hesitant.

paige’s fingers stilled in her hair for a second, then resumed. “maybe we’re just better friends than everyone else.” she said lightly, though the weight behind it was undeniable.

azzi finally looked up at her, eyes searching, and paige met her gaze. for a long moment, it felt like they were teetering on the edge of something bigger, something they kept pretending not to see. but azzi just smiled faintly, turning back to her phone, and paige let out a quiet breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

the quiet settled again, heavy but soft, and if anyone had walked in right then, they would’ve called it what it was–domestic, intimate, a little too much for something that was supposedly casual. but neither of them said anything.